blackberryshawty:

Me: are these skinny jeans men’s or women’s?
Me: *sticks hands in pockets*
Me: and we have the answer

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

wackyshenanigans:

i have never seen a post with a plot twist like this before

This is the exact mix of wonderful and awful parenting I expect most tumblr users will display in later life.

beantownbailout:

mustaleski:

matildathedragonfly:

knownorwegian:

In Norwegian, you don’t refer to your romantic partner as a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. You say “kjæreste”, which is gender neutral and literally translates to “the dearest”.

and in swedish you refer to your boyfriend/girlfriend by saying ”älskling” which translates into ”my beloved one” 

And in Finnish we say “mulkvisti” which means “one I don’t hate as much as the others”

*squints at finland*

  • Pro-lifer: Would you have wanted to be aborted
  • Me: Yes

Sebastian Stan photographed by Nigel Perry

Crew of Serenity 
→ Captain Malcolm Reynolds

  • *playing video games*
  • Someone: H--
  • Me: oMFG I died because you were talkinG

krocatoo:

Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.

image

weretaire:

"it's like they sent me up there just to watch."

unclefather:

my ex sent me pics of another girl sucking his weiner one time because he thought it would make me mad and i wrote back “did your mom do something different with her hair?” 

sundayslyfox:

sundayslyfox:

thisiskaylaerin:

Sunday Cosplay is the best

What can I say, I’m a sexy bitch

omg I’ve got like 19k notes D= wow

  • Enjolras: IT'S TIME TO TRYYYYY DEFYING MONARCHY